Here's what's going on for FireHouse with regard to literary agents. These rejection excerpts are from agents who actually showed some interest initially, but were turned off after looking more closely.

I keep telling myself not to get too into it but I'm always pretty disappointed when a rejection comes in...


Dear Mr. Conifer:

January 23, 2007

Would you please email the first 3 chapters to me? Be sure to write "REQUESTED" in the subject line, and include your original query.

...

February 21, 2007

[FORM LETTER]
Dear Mr. Conifer:

Thank you for the opportunity to take a look at your work. I regret that we cannot offer you representation. [blah blah blah...]

February 12, 2007

Thanks for your query. Mind sending along the first five pages of your manuscript in the body of an e-mail? I'd be happy to take a look and let you know whether I'd be a good fit for the project.

...

February 14, 2007

Dear Dave:

Thanks for sending along the opening pages of FireHouse. Truth be told, though, I'm afraid they didn't draw me in as much as I had hoped.


March 1, 2007

Dear Mr. Conifer, I'll be happy to look at the first three chapters -- you can send them electronically.

...

March 29, 2007

Dear Dave,

Thanks for letting me see this. Can you send the rest?

Thanks.

...

May 10, 2007

Dear Dave Conifer,

I'd read another few chapters of FIRE HOUSE and while I think you're a good writer -- I like the tension you've created in jock vs. band -- I'm not as enthusiastic as I need to be to represent you successfully. I'm not a big wrestling fan, and you kind of lose me when the matches start. I'm also a little concerned that I already represent a 'band' book, though I haven't been successful in placing it.


March 1, 2007

Dear Mr. Conifer,

Thank you for your email about your book FIREHOUSE. I'd be happy to take a look at the first five chapters and a full synopsis.

...

March 6, 2007

Thank you for sending me a selection from your novel FIREHOUSE, which I am declining with my regrets. I'm afraid I just wasn't carried away by the voice.

March 3, 2007

Dave,

Your query has sparked our interest. Please respond directly to this e-mail and attach your first two or three chapters and a three-to-eight page plot summary. Attach them in .doc (Word) or .rtf format.

I look forward to hearing from you.

...

March 10, 2007

Dave,

We're going to pass on Firehouse.

I read your excerpt carefully and must say that, despite some genuinely compelling conflict, there wasn't quite enough connection to the characters' inner thoughts for my tastes... Remember that few queries make it this far. I hope you will keep us in mind with your future endeavors.


Sorry, Dave, this shows a nice breezy writing style but the project is just not for our list.


March 6, 2007

Dear Mr. Conifer,

Thank you for your query regarding FireHouse. I read your letter with interest and would be happy to consider your work. Please forward a hard copy of the full synopsis and first 50 pages at your earliest convenience.

...

April 18, 2007

I have reviewed the first 50 pages of FireHouse, and while I liked the plot and felt that you did a good job of making your teenagers sound like teenagers (not always an easy thing to do), I just did not love the book as much as I thought I would. I really wanted the writing style to be more lively, as well as the characters themselves. And it may seem picky, but one thing that really turns me off of a book is repeated use of the words "said" and "asked". Using a variety of words in place of those two can really convey much more feeling, and breaks up the monotony of dialogue.


March 12, 2007

Dear Dave,

Why don't you send 50 pages by post, and I'll take a look?

...

April 11, 2007

Dear Dave:

Thank you for giving me another opportunity to consider your work. I wish I were responding with the news you want to hear. Unfortunately, I wasn't as gripped by the narrative voice as I'd hoped to be and I found some of the lingo a bit dated. So while I like the premise, I don't feel able to pursue this further.


March 14, 2007

Hi Dave,

Sounds interesting. Can you please send me the first 20 pages as a word attachment?

...

March 19, 2007

Hi Dave,

This is good...can you email me the complete manuscript?

...

April 30, 2007

Hi Dave,

Thanks for being so patient. I've now had time to read "Firehouse" and I'm afraid that it isn't for me. Your writing is very good and I felt connected to the characters but I'm looking for stories that tackle big issues. I'm sure that you'll find a publisher and I wish you the best of luck.


March 19, 2007

Dear Dave,

Thank you for your query. We have read your work and are interested. If you would like to send a synopsis and the first three chapters of your book to us after June 15th, [we] will review your work at that time and get back to you as soon as possible.


March 30, 2007

Dave,

Congratulations on a really professional and intriguing query. Can you email me the manuscript as an attachment and let me know if anyone else is reading it? Thanks.


April 2, 2007

Dear Dave,

Could you please email me the first 50 pages or so? Thank you,


April 3, 2007

Dave, will you send me the opening chapter of the manuscript as a Word doc attachment, and also tell me more about yourself?

...

April 5, 2007

Dave, thanks for sending this. I really like the concept you've described, but the writing just isn't grabbing me.


April 5, 2007

Hi Dave,

Your query caught my eye. Could you send the whole mss via email to me here? Thanks for thinking of me for your work.

...

June 13, 2007

Hi Dave,

Thank you so much for sharing your work with me. While I enjoyed it, I'm afraid I didn't fall in love with it the way I had hoped.


April 10, 2007

Hi Dave,

To begin, Dave, we would like to see the first three chapters and a two-paragraph author bio - as non-zipped Word.doc attachments, please.

...

April 20, 2007

We have decided to pass on this, Dave, but thanks for thinking of us.


April 12, 2007

Please feel free to send the first two chapters as an attachment. Also please let me know a bit about yourself and what you're doing at this time in your life.

...

April 17, 2007

Dear Dave,

Did I ever respond to you on this? I liked those first chapters and would be happy to read more. Please feel free to mail me a hard copy of the manuscript and I'll read it through.

...

May 10, 2007

Dear Dave,

My apologies-I still haven't had a chance to read this manuscript, but plan to get to it within the next few weeks.

...

May 16, 2007

Hi Dave,

Finally got to FIREHOUSE last night.

Warning--criticism ahead.

As you know, I was intrigued by the sample chapters you sent me. Zach seemed like an appealing character, and I was interested to see where you'd take him. Last night I read a third of the way into the book before I realized that it just was not grabbing me. The problem is that there is no sense of urgency in either the narrative or the style. The pacing of your storytelling is far too leisurely, and there is a stripped-down, minimalist quality to your writing that just left me feeling unengaged. I needed to feel that there was something to keep me turning the pages to find out what would happen, but I just didn't get that.


April 14, 2007

Dear Dave Conifer,

Your novel sounds great. Why don't you send the the first 50 pages or so? I'll have a look and then go from there. Okay?

...

April 30, 2007

Dear Dave,

Thanks very much for sending the pages. I have read them now. You're a talented writer. My concern about what I read, though, is that the story really won't resonate for the intended audience. I feel it falls in between middle grade (the reading level) and YA (the story line and plot) and doesn't work for either. The story seems too mature for middle grade, but the writing isn't old enough or edgy enough for teenagers.

I could be wrong--this is just one person's opinion. But I am afraid I would not be the right champion for it. Sorry. I did enjoy reading the pages. As I said, you're a good writer. If you tackle a new project and would like me to consider it, I hope you will be in touch again.


April 18, 2007

Hi Dave,

I'd be happy to take a look. Please email me the manuscript at your convenience.

...

May 3, 2007

Dear Dave,

Thanks for letting me read FIREHOUSE, but I'm afraid I'm going to pass. This just isn't right for my list.


April 25, 2007

Dear Dave,

I'd be happy to take a look. Why don't you send the first 75 pages along for my review?


May 3, 2007

Dear Dave,

I'd like to take a look at the first few chapters-you can send those by email if that's convenient for you.

...

May 15, 2007

Dear Dave,

Thanks for giving me a chance to read the first few chapters of FIREHOUSE. Although I truly appreciated the opportunity to take a look, I ultimately just didn't fall in love with it as much as I'd hoped. I found the shifting narrative made it tough for me to settle in to the story, so I'm going to step aside.


May 11, 2007

Dear Dave:

Thank you for sending your query. I'd be happy to read the first 2 chapters of your novel. Please send them as an email attachment, and put "requested material" in the subject line. I have to let you know my client list is pretty full and I'm passing on just about everything that crosses my desk, but I would like to see your chapters.


July 10, 2007

Dear Mr. Conifer,

I'd love to see the first 50 pages of FIREHOUSE. Can you send them as an attached file?

...

July 10, 2007

Dear Mr. Conifer,

Thank you for the look at FIREHOUSE. I'm going to pass. This is stronger than the usual submission but still not ready to be published. Your characters are too black and white; the story would be much more effective and believable if Easton and Fauquier were more sympathetic and Zach had more flaws. You also need to work on showing instead of telling the reader. Let the reader figure out Zach's dilemma by following his story--don't come right out and tell us.